Before God

 

meditation

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“ Before God ”

My heart is heavy like it used to be…
Before God
The tears fall just as endlessly…
Before God
One single topic totally unrelated
Brought back memories filled with pain
Memories…Before God
I am a new creation
The old has passed away
Everywhere except my heart
My heart…Before God
Why was I saved?
What was so special about me?
Why didn’t God save them too?
Help their eyes to see
My precious sisters…
Debbie and Shelly?
For them there was no deliverance
From the world we were thrust in
The drugs, the alcohol, the abuse…
We all lived the life our mother chose
I was shown a different way to live
If I was saved
Why couldn’t they have been?
Its days like this…
When I get a glimpse of the darkness
That these thoughts haunt me…
Hurt me…
And instead of the victorious warrior
I become the victim of circumstance
I was…
Before God.

-- Tammy Hornbeck